It's very difficult to practice what I preach!

              I had a good conversation with a kid who learns music from me. He is a very intelligent kid with lots of enthusiasm. He is just 5 but has exceptional understanding. Whenever I talk to him, keeping aside the innocence of his', I don't feel like I am talking to a 5 year old. The way he responds to any question never failed to surprise me.

        

              He keeps crying in the class, and says that he misses his parents. Though I tell him that his Dad is going to be with him in just a few minutes, he cannot control his grief. As a result, his focus on the lesson being done, is very less. One fine day, he was, for some reason, not missing his parents much. That day, he learnt 6 of the lessons, as opposed to only 2 in 4 of his previous classes. And he became worrisome again another day. So, I explained to him that when he worries much, his focus is less. I told him how he learnt 6 lessons in one class. At the end of the class, I usually give a summary of what I teach. So, when I asked him what we learnt that day, the response he gave made me extremely happy. I was so surprised. I was expecting him to say that he learnt so and so swaralu. But he said that he learnt not to worry, and that worrying will decrease his performance. I was awed by his understanding.

              I could talk to him and explain how worry leads to things not being done properly. But I, myself am not able to follow that. These days, I think of that kid, and what I explained him, whenever I am worried. And I really think, it is not easy to practice what we preach. Those who can, are praiseworthy. 

My First Music Performance

               I feel so happy for being able to sing Carnatic Music. I, in fact, feel fortunate and blessed for getting the chance to learn this form of music with lots of support from my family. I don't remember practicing music ever, while I was a student. All my practice was in the shower. I still sing in the shower. So, this morning, in the shower, I was singing one of those beautiful Annamacharya Keerthanalu, and I suddenly thought of my first ever performance on stage.

              
              I was 10 or 11 yrs old may be. In Nellore, TTD conducted State-level competitions every year. So, my parents felt that I am grown enough to perform on the stage and they enrolled me in the competition. I was myself very interested in participating too. So, I chose one random cassette of Annaymacharya Keerthanalu from the pile and played it. I chose the song 'Kanti Sukravaramu'. And I practiced it myself. This song will always be my special song. That being said, please don't think that I did very well in that competition. 

             
             That was the very first time I was going to perform on the stage, that too in a competition. I was so very nervous. When my name was called for, I gathered some courage to perform, with the support of mom and dad. It was my first and last worst performance :) I started singing, but because of nervousness I couldn't control my breath. On top of that, I saw one of the judges, nodding her head. Today, I feel that she might have done that feeling that my song was going good, in spite of my no control over breath. But, that day, I thought that they did not like my song, and that she is asking me to stop the song. What a fool I was!! They were asking some folks to stop the song, when they felt they have already judged their song. So, may be I was not confident on my song, or whatever, I don't know. I just came off the stage, and started crying :). I still remember that day and laugh my heart out. Some of my friends' parents suggested me to practice more. However, that day, I learned something. The next year, I took the same song and I was selected for semi-finals. Of course, I couldn't get through the semi-finals but that was an achievement!!