When Drama Credit Card exceeds limit, this post happens...

                         So, I was thinking... actually experiencing how judgmental and crazy a few people around me are. I never knew that people can be so immature and jealous sometimes. I am so frustrated. You think it is a problem with me? I have the wrong attitude? May be not. There are many people who I absolutely love to be with, and I absolutely love how they tackle things. I also accept that I might piss off some people with my behavior, but I just wanted to write out my feelings aloud, and hope that the related people understand it, though I don't believe in it. Hey, You!

                       So, you really feel that you understand my life completely? And give me expectations to meet. And... Judge me. And even get mad at, and scold me? I am just working and taking care of husband and myself. That means I have all the time in the world? And it is not okay for me to say that I cannot find time to call and talk to people. It is still okay for you to do the same, because you have a kid and you are very busy? I mean, do you have the same job like mine? Do you live in the same city like mine? Do you live my kind of a life? Everybody has their own life, and everybody is busy with their own things. If I don't have a kid ( which I do now, though), it's not that I am sitting here thinking of what to do with my time. I have lots of other things which I care to do. I wouldn't say that you don't have the right to ask me to talk. But you definitely do not have the right to declare my free time. If you want me to call you, be the person.

                       You are very jealous that you cannot even congratulate me on my achievements? What kind of a friend are you? Instead of congratulating, you just go on asking your Q's, or talking about your concerns. Would I even care to share the news next time? Hell, no! At least learn to act a little.

                       I visit you, and something accidentally is spoiled. Not because of me though. You then give me a call and ask if I spoiled it? Can't you see that I am jealous that you have it, and I deliberately spoiled it?

                       Kids are the best in the whole world, with no malice and thinking only good for everyone. How can you say bad things for such kids? If kids have a dark complexion, or don't look as cute as your own, it's not their fault. It is your fault for criticizing innocent beings for something they have absolutely no control over, just because you hate the mother or father. Please do remember that you might have another kid.

                       Now, you ask me for help. And try to get all the information from me. I ask you a Q in return, and you shut up for good. What do I call it? Smartness? If you want to share nothing with me, don't ask me for help. What kind of a cheap mindset is it? Do you really want me to help you even after I understand your behavior? You don't share any of your ideas, but still interested in knowing mine, and when something good happens to you, you talk it off as a miracle. Come on, you are in the modern century.

                       Did I ask you for any advice? What to do with my baby? How to deal with my husband? How to take care of my family? Then why in the world would you advice me about these things? Don't you have a family of your own to take care of, that you are forcing me to take care of my family the way you want? You took care of your kids the way you like. Let me do the same here!

                         You talk not very nice of the things I buy and I have. Talk them off as old-fashioned. But still try to buy the same kind of things? 

                        I know people feel that I cannot stand for myself. If I stand for myself, and give them back then and there, the relationship definitely breaks, and there are lot of strings attached, which I don't want to break. So, I keep my feelings shut, and try to wear that guilty mask on, all the times. I am not a perfect human being, but accept my mistakes, and I feel guilty. I secretly wish that a few people understand how others can understand the meaning of their actions. God bless them all!

Project 52 - Week # 2

                    

                      Patterns keep changing in life. Though I am afraid of change, and cannot easily embrace it, life would definitely be very boring without a change. A slight change, changes all patterns in life. But just like in the case of a kaleidoscope, they still are beautiful, if you have an eye for beauty. Read more.

Project 52 - Week # 1

                     

               

                   Here I am, with my first picture-first week. I wanted to start with the picture of my lucky charm. Yes, she has been my, OUR lucky charm. The gift we got from the heaven. The only someone who can love us unconditionally. Yes, I said that. 

              According to me, Read More.

The most awaited cube of mine

                      Friends who have been in touch with me, would know this, that I joined my new job a month ago. And now, I just feel like sharing how I got the most wanted cube :)
                      So, it is kind of a job that I was waiting for. And, I am fortunate to have found it. Again, I give credits to my Lucky Charm... my DD. I had my new hire orientation, and met a couple of cool folks. And came to know that I don't have a cube of my own. You have no idea, how much I longed for a cube at work :). Last 3 projects of mine, were all agile floors. And, it is really very bad. I was asked to share cube with another person, for a while, before I get one - either by kicking out someone or moving two together. But soon after, in just a week, they got me a cube.. a little farther away from my team, though. And so, I moved my things and there was the happy ME !

                      Only then I came to know, how much demand this cube was in. The next day, someone comes and asks - " Is this your cube?" I am like.."Yeah?"  "Okay.. we have a resource that we wanted to sit here. How come you are sitting?" The very polite new me, says.. "Not sure. You could ask the admin".
                       Then comes another lady, with the same Q. This time, a little surprised to see there is yet another team waiting to put their member here, gave her the same answer. Am I the admin or the one who assigns the cubes, Sweetie??

                       The next day, another gentleman, walks up to my desk. I would hate him, even if I know nothing about him. I know I am a horrible person for doing that. But still, I can't help being it. I don't think I am racist though! So, he asks me.. "You are sitting here temporarily. Aren't ya? " This time, an annoyed me.. "No". And he says.. "Is your team here?"  "No. On the 2nd floor." "How come you are sitting here? You are not supposed to be sitting here" Ohhh... I didn't know that you are my manager's boss. Looks like he forgot to ask you!

                      Couple days later, the second beautiful lady(BL), strikes again!
BL: Hi... am sososo.
Me: Hi... sisisi
BL: So when are you leaving?
Me: In the next 10 minutes ( It was the EOD)
BL: No, not now. When are you leaving this office?

       What the crap?! I just joined, and am not looking to leave this office for years to come!
Me: This is my work place. I may not leave
BL: Oh, Sandy said that you are a temporary resource and would be leaving soon
Me: Anxious about not knowing this, confused if they were letting me go, asks her.. "Is it? I didn't know that!" . Most genuinely!
BL: You said you were going to India right?
Me: Nope!
BL: And now, she gets really frustrated, and asks me even more frustratingly, "Pull up the chat conversation we had"
Me: What? Am I a split personality or what? Did I forget chatting with someone? I say - "We never chatted"
BL then realizes that she is talking to the wrong person.

I mean, what do you think lady? You just walk up to someone and talk whatever and make her anxious? Please... And for all of those.. how have been waiting for my cube.......

Life has no Ctrl+Z

                          Something serious this time. How many times have you felt that you wish you could go back and undo something? Or do something differently? Am sure many. Something happened very recently, that made me think how important the actions I do, are. And how they no longer affect only me, but many others around. For a couple of days, I have fantasized a way to undo things.
                          I wanted to share a small story from the movie Talash ( I don't like Amir khan as such). It happens that he goes on a picnic with kids and wife. When his son asks him he wants to go around and play, he lets him. He then gets onto a speed boat and gets drowned in the river. Amir keeps thinking that he should have done so many other things than letting him go. But can't do anything now.
                          Now, something less serious... Yesterday, I slipped my new mobile, which is hardly 2 weeks old, on the wash basin. And unfortunately it broke. It's very disheartening that it broke even when it fell from a height of not even 2 feet?! I really wish I did not carry it with me, and I left it at my desk. I really wish to undo it.

                           With a baby around now, I realized how important it is to me, to watch carefully, everything I do. Even a moment of negligence could cause great trouble. Not just that, as people say, Opportunity knocks the door only once. So, better grab it the very first time. Any worry later is of no use.
                           But life is still beautiful. The beauty of life lies in the fact that though we cannot undo what is already done, we can understand it and learn from it. Instead of worrying too much, every moment must be spent with utmost care, wisdom, understanding and love.

Project 52 - 2014

                         So, as part of my '35 before 35', I am starting my project 52 for this year - 2014. Don't forget to keep reading my posts on the new blog as well. You can find the tab for prj 52 on the top, just beside Gayakapriya. And I wish you a very very Happy and a wonderful new year ahead. 

Merry Berry